ponder (verb) to consider something deeply and thoroughly; meditate.

I’ve been dragging my feet for weeks .. posting this first “pondering.”  Waiting for the “perfect” time for the “perfect” post.  The nudge I’ve been receiving (yes, it’s more than a nudge .. beating over the head is more accurate) over the past several days is .. nothing is perfect.  Perfection is a mirage .. something never to be grasped or achieved.  And anything I EVER post will never be perfect.  I’m laughing to myself because I don’t even know what perfect means - especially in relation to a post!  My idea of perfect changes with the wind!  In truth, perfection is not even what I’m going for!  (I don’t even write grammatically correct and use way too many …. and !!!) 

Motherhood Press is actually, at it’s core, about not being perfect and embracing where we are..right where we are and always encouraging the “begin again.”  Our secular world and all that comes with that in the form of social media screams for perfection!  Believe me, I’ve watched my daughters over the last 7 days post on Instagram!  It’s exhausting!  

I’m calling this page “ponderings” because that is what I do.  I ponder.  I don’t think I’m a blogger .. my thoughts are way too disorganized.  My husband has often times looked at me with wide eyes and asked “how did we get here from the initial conversation? How and why does your brain do that?” ha!! It’s a great and valid question that I always have a “logical” answer to…one he never seems to fully embrace as logical!  

As I sit here now, I think pondering is an aspect of my spirituality .. something I have wrestled with for years - trying to “fall in line” with what a personal spirituality should look like.  I think a Spiritual Director would have many issues with that last sentence. First, the word “should” .. should implies no personal freedom.  The words “look like” - well, why would God want me to look like anyone but myself?  Embracing the gifts and talents He has given me?  That in and of itself are many “ponderings” because for whatever reason it has taken me years to wrestle with that truth .. I am beloved and God’s daughter.  The words “should” and “looks like” need to be plucked out of my thoughts and vocabulary.  Not just me .. all of us! 

I’m learning to embrace the uniqueness of the spirituality that God has planted in my heart and soul.  Motherhood Press is a journey in and of itself.  I tried to articulate that in my bio page and I thank you for joining me in this journey .. the journey of my soul.  We are all on a journey.  A journey to discover who we are in God’s eyes and what our purpose is … whatever vocation we are called to.   

I opened the first box of Orderly Days® notebooks today.  Soon, they will be in the shop ready for sale.  What I want to share now is Orderly Days® is simply a tool.  A tool to help us become the daughters our loving Father created us to be.  It’s a tool to learn to know Him, love Him and serve Him within our vocation.  It’s not something you’ve never seen before but the prayer behind it is unique and personal.  Orderly Days® and the products Motherhood Press will publish are meeting - a need of my own.  To live in this world and not of it.  To order my days that please God.  To get back to the basics of pen to paper, being intentional, embracing my vocation, and being comfortably consistent in my specific path of duty.  I humbly and with a lot of excitement invite you to join me!  Together, I think we can provide all kinds of support for one another to live intentionally and authentically .. and, of course, orderly! :) 


Kate ConwayComment